Not easy to keep a lasting close friendship

"Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light."
- Winston Churchill's mom

Sometimes I feel guilty - for not keeping in touch with people I once call 'close friends'. It's true - it's one thing to start a friendship, it's quite another to maintain it and to keep it. I must admit that I haven't been in touch with most of them as often as I would like to.

 With Lina and her lovely daughter Amirah

Take one of my buddies from university days. I've not yet meet up with him and his family since I came back from Japan. Not even a phone call. I suddenly thought of him a few days ago when I was in the vicinity of his workplace, so I called him up. No answer. Texted him to let him know that I was in the neighbourhood and would like to meet up. No answer.

Rudy and the boys - please don't mind the messy background. Ehem, people with young children can't help having messy homes in order to let their children express their creative nature. Alasan!

Called up another old friend. No answer too. But when he called me up later, I explained that I was nearby his office when I called earlier on and thought of meeting up for tea if he was free to do so. Turned out he was away from the office, having to attend a meeting up north.

So, I confessed to him about my feeling of guilt - of not keeping in touch with old friends. We used to move in the same circle - so as I confessed about my 'crime' of not contacting my old friends, he would prod by asking if I have been in touch with this friend or that friend since I came back.

"Juz?"
"In touch - met her for a short while during a gathering and we both have each other's number"
"Ainita?"
"In touch - usually by phone. Nita came to visit after I gave birth to Asim"
"Rahim & Azian?"
"I've called Yan before, and she has my number too. I think"

He knows that I've been in touch with Sue Hani because we almost had lunch together once. But as it happened - he had lunch with Sue and had to make his excuses before I arrived to have lunch with Sue.

Funny how - as an undergraduate I would travel the long distance by bus or train just to visit friends, to be with them. Now that I have a car and have friends who live in places not as far as they used to, I can't find time to visit or meet up. Yes, I guess I am guilty of taking good friends for granted. Like a comfortable pair of gloves, old friends wear well. I know that they will always be there for me, that I can always count on them - but on the other hand, I am also aware that friendships need renewal. They can't remain being neglected for too long.  hence I can't blame anybody but me when an old friend not only did not answer my call, but did not even reply my SMS or call me back

Thus I must admit that I was so happy to have a dear old friend, Lina who came to visit us all the way from Singapore. When I went to Singapore in 2008, I could not contact her earlier to let her know that we would be coming, so we didn't meet up then. And we haven't seen each other since 2005 - making the meeting an even more meaningful because it was the first time we got to see each other's children - her Amirul & Amirah and my three 'ultramen'.

I can't even thank Lina & Rudy enough for bringing nice gifts - Thomas the tank engine t-shirts& pants for both Huzaifah and Humaidi. They both love them so much that during the first week both of them insisted on wearing their respective pair daily. Daily. As in - I had to make sure to wash them as soon as the boys took the outfit off because they would be wanting to wear them again as soon as the shirts and pants dried off. and all I could offer in return was a preloved story book that Amirul seemed to enjoy, plus some mandarin oranges. Lame, I know.

It was a short meeting - but long enough to know that we still click. Enough to know that we both care about each other deeply - even if we seldom get to see each other. We both know that we probably should meet up more often - but that's quite impossible with our busy schedules and distance and all. Yeah, I guess as adults, it all often boil down to our busyness. Busy, busy, busy, bzz bzz bzz... But yeah, it will be really cool if I get to see my friends - the good ones I consider gold - at least more than once in a year or two.

Now, now, when will I get to meet up with you, and you, and you - all silent readers of my blog but really close friends to heart ? you know who you are, right?